How to secure stress-fee life?

There is a myth that stress is inevitable. But is it?

We know that a stress-free life is possible. It should be desirable.

In life, we all meet with external pressures and obstacles. Those are impossible to end. However, we can investigate every problem we encounter as a challenge.

Stress-free life doesn't mean there will no longer be any external pressures, challenges, or deadlines.

Instead, a stress-free life means you acquire the intrapersonal skills that allow you to keep your inner calm regardless of external conditions.

WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF STRESS?

All stress happens because of your own inner reactivity.

Your inner reactivity has three components:

1. Mental component (thoughts, verbal memories and imagination);
2. Emotional component (how you feel);
3. Physical component (flight or fight response, muscular tensions, etc.).

However, the physical effect on your body happens primarily due to the mental and emotional reactions within your own mind.

In the case of office work and routine life, we don't face mostly any direct physical threats. Some physical stress may be experienced on our bodies in the case of heavy physical work or due to a forced position where we can't move. Some jobs may indeed require sitting immobile or performing some intense physical labor. However, in the case of modern office work, this is rarely the case.
 

MISCONCEPTIONS OF OUR INTRAPERSONAL DOMAIN

William Shakespeare erroneously re-stated, "I think, therefore, I am". This thought originates from a French philosopher, René Descartes, and it is misguiding most of us in the Western world. When you, for example, sleep or enjoy a brief moment of inner silence, you still exist (I am even when I do not think).

By learning intrapersonal skills and using self-observation, you can derive a completely different conclusion – I have thoughts, and I can observe them. Therefore, I am not my thoughts; I have thoughts.

This truth is also present in most ancient wisdom and is very much alive in the Eastern world and among tribes who live in harmony with nature. They live lives that are more present or fully in the now.

In nature, silence is always present in the background. When you are in nature, you can calm down and experience this silence easily within you (watch the video below).
 

 

MENTAL WELLNESS IS KNOWING YOUR INNER HIERARCHY

Your essence is silence or consciousness. Your first tool is your awareness that you can direct. This is confirmed by many ancient teachings. Books by Eckart Tolle, Ingvar Villido, Paramahansa Yogananda and many others confirm this.

You, as your True Self, are not your thoughts, imaginations, or emotions.

The accurate way to perceive your thoughts, imaginations and emotions is to regard them as your inner tools.

You are the one who has the power to use your mental and emotional levels by directing thoughts, imaginations and emotions at will with your awareness; but you are not any of those inner tools.

When you receive any insight, then it is nonverbal, appearing from silence. Only after the initial insight has appeared to you, will you try to verbalize it by using thoughts (that consist of words) to describe something.

We can also illustrate that differently – when a child is born, he or she possesses no words. Yet, the child still exists, demonstrating that existence and thought are not dependent on each other. During the first year of life, the child uses his or her awareness to observe the language and notice connections between words and objects. Subsequently, the child picks up the words that later allow expressing thoughts.

When you place a child into an altered environment where a different language is spoken, that child absorbs that language very easily. So our thoughts and cultural traditions and ways of life are learned. And we seldom question if what we have learned is accurate.
 

TIME TO RELEARN HOW TO BE MENTALLY SHARP AND WELL

Let us remind you that you have thoughts and emotions, and thus you can lead them with your own awareness at will. You can even let go of your thoughts and emotions at will and learn to enjoy inner peace. You can also use emotions at will.

Let's set up an experiment. Examine the following simple experience, first, think of the time you were happy. Now, feel this happiness! For this, you need to allow yourself to re-experience that happy feeling.

What happened?

You changed your feelings and with the change also different thoughts appear.

You can also remember when you were sad, lucky, or respected. What happens when you remember it?

The emotion re-appears and you re-live it as if it is real in a present moment.

What if you chose to read the book on your table or the work-related memo on your screen? What happens in your mind? What processes are triggered and what reactions follow? Investigate it.

Are you pausing and going along with such an investigation? Or just hurrying to read on? Moving on provides one result, the investigation at the present moment provides a different one.

How does reading this text influence your inner domain? What does this information change in you?

YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW TO RESPOND

When we accept that we have the inner power to lead our thoughts and emotions at will and learn to let go of any emotion at will, we can choose how we respond. Your ability to respond adequately to situations gives you freedom compared to subconscious inner reactivity. Knowing that you aren't our thoughts and emotions will allow you to step out of inner reactivity.

You use your pen. You aren't your pen.

You use your computer, but never consider the computer to be yourself.

You have a physical body and can lead it at will. You can make it stand up and go to work, visit the shop or walk back to the safety of your home. Your physical body is also your tool.

Similarly, you can close your eyes and imagine Big Ben in London. You can imagine palm trees. You can think of Big Ben or palm trees. You can also let go of those thoughts and look around and be in contact with the place where your physical body is at the present moment.

Looking out with the aim of observing allows you to notice and distinguish what is in the room or lying on your desk or on your computer or mobile device screen.

BENEFITS OF AWARE OBSERVATIONS

Observing with full awareness is different from thinking. It is what we employed when we were kids.

When you observe an object, it is about noticing its details with your awareness.

Alternatively, you can also think about this object or just slip over it without really noticing it, but that is a different inner process than observation. You can think about something within your mind without really observing and noticing what is happening around you. So, every day we pass millions of objects without becoming aware of them. Also, similarly, we miss opportunities as we are not fully present and ready to observe the possibilities.
 

Many of us walk along the beach without even noticing the sand or the beautiful shapes it forms. We often are so lost in our thoughts and emotions that we lose touch with the present moment and our current surroundings. Such contact with reality disturbs our life and our work.

You have power over your thoughts and emotions. Becoming aware of this is liberating. Becoming aware of this allows you to focus.

YOUR INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS DETERMINE YOUR EXTERNAL FOCUS

Keeping your thoughts focused on the task, hence, represents an aware decision that needs to be made by you.

Selecting what you focus upon consciously or being aware of where your focus is are more stress-free options than letting your monkey mind run wild.

Stress becomes included when you aren't at peace with your task or location. Lacking inner peace happens because there is a disturbing emotion in place. For example, loneliness, feeling overwhelmed or tired. You subconsciously pick that emotion and then become one with it until the emotion uses you.

As soon as subconscious emotions and contradicting thoughts appear, you face an inner reactivity. And when it gets strong, you experience stress. Experiencing stress is due to the lack of awareness-based intrapersonal skills.

Most people don't understand their minds and inner activities at all. Stress statistics confirm that as well as the lack of employee engagement confirms that. The lack of employee engagement is between 70-80% and the number of people who experience stress at work is also between 70-80% as we have proven based on statistics in our previous blogs. However, due to the pandemic, the stress numbers have risen in some cases up to 90%, and we see great resignation and immense amounts of burnout.

EXTERNAL STRESS REDUCTION AND BURNOUT PREVENTION SOLUTIONS ALONE DO NOT WORK

Even with remote work, most people still blame external conditions, whilst, in reality, external conditions don't influence you if you remain inwardly calm and fully aware.

In general, the external conditions are only about 20% of the stress and psychological wellbeing equation. It is indeed considerably more effortless to be well and work well in safe and peaceful surroundings than in a situation that is causing a need to focus more intensely. And in those situations, an aware and relaxed way to focus saves your day!

However, the most efficient stress reduction and burnout method is learning intrapersonal skills. We have made it easy to obtain such skills on the Wellness Orbit e-training 'Performing Under Pressure'. When people with excellent intrapersonal skills meet in a good work environment, your people and business will thrive.

Excellent work environments matter, they support employee mental wellness. Excellent interpersonal relations matter also, they support mental well-being on contrary to toxic work relations.

In a constantly changing world of work, your intrapersonal skills are the most crucial component of your mental sharpness, mental wellness and ability to respond adequately to realistic situations.

When you know how to employ your intrapersonal skills, you enjoy the freedom to encounter challenging situations.

Awareness-based intrapersonal skills allow you to overcome the challenges you face and enjoy a stress-free life. With the help of observing our inner domain and leading processes within it, you can also reduce your burnout risk almost to zero.
 

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This stress-free life blog is written by Kaur Lass. Updated 02.12.2024